May 31, 2007

~ Randomly...

Leave a light on for me.

Past week and this, I've been getting re-acquainted with beer. There was a time when I went drinking with Wenn every so often. Fat Frog and pre-Fat Frog days. I stopped when I went into teaching. Simply cos when you are a teacher, there isn't much night life to speak of. You report for work by 7am every day. And secondly, a nightlife (broadly defined as drinking alcoholic beverage and taking midnight cab home) costs too much when you don't earn too much as a teacher. Like I wasn't.

Just came back from a round of drinking at Brewerkz. Easily cost me the first $30 of my newly credited salary. I haven't even had the chance to see it in my bank account before I started spending it.

But the point is, when we were waiting for cabs, all three of them said their boyfriends were not very happy about their staying out to drink. I shook my head and comforted myself that I am single and do not have to give any thought about anyone being unhappy about what I do after work.

But, actually, what I would really, really like is to have someone to come home to. Someone to cuddle up with when I get home from work, or from drinking after work. I don't really care if someone would be dead asleep when I get home. I just want someone to cuddle up to, after the warmth of the alcohol sets in within.

In fact, I would like also, to be the person someone comes home to after work, or from drinking after work.

But, no. No 'someone'. And it's all right. Thoughts and desire remain those when no action is taken. And yes, they shall remain so.

At the end of the day, I still just rather sleep. Be taken by the hand by Sandman, be led into the wondrous realm. And anything could happen there. Better than to wait for someone who may never want to come back home to you. Better than to have any expectation of anyone.

So, this is me. Comprehend this. If you like. Not that I care.

And I'm going to sleep in tomorrow.

When all else fails, I find comfort in seeing a light left on for me. Or the music from the radio. It says that I'm not really alone.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:55